There are five so called, "Love Languages," and once you know them, I promise you, your life will be easier. I had heard about the Five Love Languages when I was in high school, but it wasn't until our pre-marriage perspectives class that I figured out what they actually were: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. We feel love through all five, but most people have a primary and a secondary love language.
-Words of Affirmation. Words matter to these people, & affect them greatly. Kind, encouraging, & loving words lift them up and make them feel loved. That being said, hurtful words, even jokingly, wound them incredibly. Even not communicating hurts them... be careful of what you say or don't say.
-Acts of Service. Doing things: cleaning, cooking dinner, washing dishes, special projects, or picking something up, is just some of the ways you could show someone you love them, and also how they feel loved. If you're asked to do something from someone who has this love language, and you don't do it... you're communicating that you don't love them.
-Gifts. Gifts, however small, show these people you love them. They need the occasional gift more regularly than the other ones because it shows you love them.
-Quality Time. Time together that is free of distraction and is solely based and focused on the people there.
-Physical Touch. Anything. It can be a hug, kiss, pat on the back, light punch, gentle touch on the arm... any physical touch tells them they are loved.
After reading that, how do you try to show people you love them? However you try to communicate this is YOUR love language. Others may not be seeing it that way because you're not communicating love the way they understand/feel/speak it.
For you to have good relationships with everyone around you... your spouse, children, family, friends, co-workers... identify their love languages. For example, negative or constructive words given to someone where that is their love language could be detrimental.
Also, communicate to those around you of how you feel loved, and how it hurts you when things are done... like hurtful words, not doing an asked task, lack of quality time, not getting a hug, or even no "I thought of you" gift really hurts you.
Love is an action. Make the choice to take back the love in your life, and to be intentional about it. Love and be loved... the only way to go is up.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
